Roseanne was an American sitcom which aired on ABC from 1988 to 1997, starring the stand-up comedian Roseanne Barr.
*7.0 stars on IMDb*!!!!
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Best Roseanne lines
Ones that make you laugh every time!
Roseanne Cast Photo
Roseanne (to Fisher) “You know, I think of myself as a pretty good judge of people. That’s why I don’t like none of ’em!”
Crystal (during hurricane) “Roseanne…I wanna live!”
Roseanne: “Think it over!”
Dan (bends toward Roseanne) “Uh oh, I guess I’ve been naughty!”
Roseanne: (to visiting guests) “Excuse the mess..but we live here.”
Dan: (to Roseanne) “Do you want me? I’ve just washed!”
Roseanne: (speaking of Arnie knocking on the window) “You better leave, Jackie. Sooner or later he’s gonna figure out where the front door is.”
Roseanne: (watching a karate man break a board w/his head) “Use a saw, will ya?”
(Darlene: (to Ziggy) “Have you ever killed anyone?”
D.J (to Todd) “My mom says your mom has to have an operation! She says she’s got to get a really big stick taken out of her butt!”
Darlene: (To Dan & Roseanne) “Don’t mind me. Just continue with your foreplay.”
Ziggy: “We were gonna get married. But the kids were against it.”
Darlene: “I can see why.”
(D.J. sneezes on Darlene’s breakfast) Darlene: “Why don’t you JUST VOMIT ON MY PLATE!”
(Roseanne walks quietly toward ghoulish children in the diner)“….GET OUT!”
Nancy: “Arnie’s always whining that I’m smothering him.”
Roseanne: “If you can still hear him whining, you’re not holding the pillow down hard enough.”
(During the birth control talk). Becky: “Doesn’t this stuff kind of kill the mood?”
Roseanne: “Not as much as a screaming baby with a loaded diaper.”
Roseanne (To the lonely next door neighbour who’s watching her cook)
“You’re 17, you shouldn’t have a meat loaf recipe. Go get something pierced.”
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